PSAT scores

Wow, I impressed MYSELF with my PSAT scores. when i first got them i was like OMG...i did really bad. but THEN...people were lookin at mine like WHOA n i was lookin at theres like OHHH. lol i just have to toot my own horn here cuz im really proud of em...considering how bad i thought i did. im getting all these dumb college admission things in my email now. im pretty proud tho :)
i decided to put that on here because i havent blogged in a while so i figured i should write one... so here IT is. :)
yayyy katy lol :)

My New Years Resolution

I am GOING to own a Mac PC by this time next year!!!!! :)

Who I Am Hates Who I've Been. ((awesome song btw))

I have an attitude problem...THAT's old news. (old news? how is there such thing as OLD NEWS?) I tend to snap at people when they snap at me...which is understandable, but I never USED to do that. It's not exactly glorifying to God. Plus, it's immature. Frankly, I feel like I'm going backwards in that area lately. I find myself becoming less of a person than I was before, in my opinion.

For example, I used to just shrug everyone's opinion of me off, along with whatever unkind things that might be said behind my back OR to my face. Now, if you say it to my face, expect a mouthful. On top of that, I haven't been the kind of person who CARES about what anyone thinks of me for a long time....until now. I've become so acustomed (idk if i spelled that right) to being myself, which is different, that being different is now something i TRY to be. People expect me to be different, and I like being different. The thing is, there I am TRYING to be what other people expect me to.

So, my favorite brand is Nike/Jordan. No big secret. Most of my shoes are Jordans or Nikes, because I like them. But, I got a DC shirt for Christmas. I was like "awesome. i like THIS"....but then i thought "wait. most of the white people at my school wear DC. i dont want to be like all the people who don't know me EXPECT me to be."

.....WTF. That's a really messed up mindstate, in my opinion. I've become so consumed with wearing what I like and LIKING it being different that when I come across something that i LIKE thats the SAME, I don't want to wear it. This might all be only making sense in my head lol. Basically, I'm conforming into a nonconformist...kinda. Idk. So, THAT got me thinking.

PLUS--Just a few minutes before I started typing this, I was on myspace. This girl I got into some drama with deleted me, and I was like "wow. thats funny."

(((So, I thought back to how me and the girl were texting on Christmas day. She had been starting some rumors about me recently, but she came and texted to me that I ruined her Christmas. I have been NOTHING but nice to her, even though I don't like her. So, my attitude snapped into action...via text message. Long story short, I got really rude with her--I meant every word--but the way I spoke them.)))

So, I went to view my profile and happened to look at my display name, a fancified version of "katymay((reppin dat GEE OH DEE))" I was like WHOA. Am I really representing God how he deserves to be represented? When I was texting that friend, I'm sure God was NOT looking down thinking "That's ma girl." :(

So here I am thinking about how much I've changed and how much i DONT like who I've become in comparison to who I USED to be...in some areas, that is. And the SAD part about it is that I'm pretty sure that MOST of it is because of a relationship thats pretty important to me. Richard...So...sitting here ashamed of myself and the way that I have been.....

I think I know what I should do.

:(

Some good.

Now im only grounded until this weekend, which would have been the half-mark of my full groundingness. She changed the "grade-to-get" to an 85. This is MUCH better than all A's. :) but...

NOW, Monday through Thursday, at 6 o'clock, I have to be inside, phone off, and off the computer. So, BASICALLY...im grounded everyday after 6 o'clock. MUCH better than my previous situation. but still...it sucks. ESPECIALLY since Richard doesn't usually get home till about 6: every day. Sooooooo I STILL will never get to talk to him...except on weekends. There's some good. And some bad.

But oh well. Millions of people all over the world live without being able to roam their neighborhood safely or use phones at all. Millions of people don't even HAVE friends or boyfriends. So, I guess I should be thankful that God has given me what he HAS given me.

...Still sucks, though. lol.

On another note.........YAYYYYY! My birthday is next Wednesday!!!! OCTOBER 29th, I'm gonna be 16 years young :) woohoo! haha :)

Report Card Time :(

:(

Now, for starters, I'm a sophmore and most of my classes are junior classes. So I got my report card. 3 A's. 3 B's. 1 C. I'm grounded for FOUR weeks. I have been trying my hardest, I can honestly say, yet my mom wants ALL A's. Apparently, my best ISN'T good enough. It just makes me mad because I tell her "I'm trying hard" and "Im doing my best" and she's like "well good. do better." It's just not fair in my opinion.

I mean, I love my mom. She's amazing. I understand that she's my mother and she wants the best for me and she doesn't want me to look back and regret not making better grades and yadda yadda yadda. But, I haven't had straight As since fourth grade. This is pretty dang unrealistic.

Last year, she wanted me to just make atleast B's, which is understandable. Honestly, I wasn't doing EVERYTHING i could have last year to keep my grades up there, and they weren't. But, A's...GRRRR. This whole chopping off my connection to the world after school was the catalyst to my depression last year.

This is SO frustrating. I have good grades. Considering the classes, I have great grades. Yet, I'm going to be grounded for atleast the next four weeks.

I'm switching out of my advanced classes...TOMORROW. In academic sophomore classes, I can breeze through. Yeah, I know that might sound like a bad decision, but I don't care. I am not gonna go through what I went through last year. And if she's not gonna accept my best in THESE classes, surely she'll accept my best in THOSE classes.

I'm just so discouraged and sad and angry and irritated.

But, I'm gonna keep praying. God has his reasons for everything. But...Maybe she'll have a change of heart. Or I'll all of the sudden become a perfect student. Heh.

:( :( :(

"WE DON'T"

I'm not the standard at all and wouldn't claim to be But since Christ snatched me up theres been a lot of change in me I got my world view corrected; I see things eternal Yeah I've got a whole new perspective I don't use drugs or sell I keep acountabilty cause my flesh...yeah it loves to fail I don't go where I used to go I got my number changed twice for the girls that I used to know I don't trip when I pass the cops cause I'm not making assists; you know trying to pass the rock I don't live life scared of death cause when I take my last breath The next step is there in text I'm not a legalist and I aint hatin' but there's things I don't and won't do; yeah I read Galatians And I keep reading Ephesians if it's Christ we believe in We should't be confused with the heathens You gonna ride with us? Nah I don't do that there! You gettin' high with us? Nah I don't do that there! You wanna hit a lick (theft)? Nah I don't that there! Get a couple chics? Uh Unh I don't do that there! Man I don't trip of coppin' whips If it aint a DVD you won't catch me pop in clips. I aint worried chains or shoes My God's thinkin' bout whether to change the city sky from Greys to blues I don't care about the famous names Cause when Christ comes back a lot of folks will be nameless man and I aint worried about speakin his name cause if it wasn't for Christ yeah we'd all be sinkin in flames I don't even wanna "change the game" Your'e favorite rapper got saved last night Yeah that's the aim The world wer'e livin in is simply tempting So I quit consenting to my flesh when it tries to pimp me Until I die or Christ comes to get me I aint doing what this world wants to do Now is ya wit me? (Are you with me?) Yo I'mma keep it short simple and plain I used to fiend for the pimp game Til I got with Christ and switched my aim Flipped my pain to a burden to grab hip-hop, his name and merge it with His word as the plate then serve it Cats are like "who you serve kid?" It's gotta be HIM who wiped my sin slate clean like Oxy 10 I rock Christ from PA to Dallas R-Swift and LeCrae walk in the Spirit til our feet ache with callous Naw I'm buggin, but for real my point is with Christ life is pointless; this joint is For the prisoners trapped on the block where blasted shots cause cats to drop like temperatures Without Christ and restoration your chance of makin it is slimmer than Blacks getting reparations Jesus Christ man the Ancient of Days Get with HIM for eternal life and pass the phrase!

--LECRAE "We Don't"

another uneventful day...

Three things that scare me: roaches, lawn mowers, && addictions,

Three people who make me laugh: richard, kevin, alex

Three things I love: God, basketball, && fried chicken

Three things I hate: lies, math, && trashtalking

Three things I don't understand: self-mutalation, drama queens, lava lamps

Three things on my desk: earrings, whataburger cup, flash drive

Three things I'm doing right now: blogging ((duh)), listening to hawk nelson, coughing **cough cough**

Three things I want to do before I die: lead someone to Christ, visit England, make a family

Three things I can do: dance ((WHITE PPL CAN DO IT TOO)), write great poetry, shoot a 3-pointer hook shot

Three things you should listen to: God, Trip Lee, my little bro phillip count lol (its so cute)

Three things you should never listen to: marilyn manson, someone die (?), bullstuff

Three things I'd like to learn: more about playing da DRUMS :), player stats of the entire spurs team, more about the Old Testament

Three beverages I drink regularly: milk, koolaid, && apple juice

Future Job: missionary maybe? :) hmm....

Wants to go to: england

Extra curriculars: lol nothin rite now. ima slacker.. haha :P well unless youth group counts :)

Occupation: disciple....

Favorites:Colors: black, red, blue

Subjects: english && history

Food: fried chicken and mashed potatoes :) MMMM-MMM GOOD :) lolz

Season: fall.

Time of day: late afternoon

Least favorites:Colors: hmm....i guess ima go with orange. bleh.

Subjects: science and math GRRRRG

Food: squash && lima beans

Season: idk..good question...

Time of day: early morning..having to wake up. and get dressed. and move lol.

Currently:Reading: Luke....thats it

Goal: All A's...be more active again..save up $$$ for an xbox

Playing: as in??????

Talking to: my brother shaun. hes tellin me how boring whatever im doing looks lol